Sunday, October 23, 2011

When Someone Dies

It is hard to blog when someone dies.

Posts about basement lights, apple snacks and Halloween costumes will have to wait.

For some it is a top news story, but not for Eldest.

Eldest said goodbye to two friends on Saturday.

Four teenage boys from her high school were killed in a tragic car accident.

The fiftth is in a city hospital five hours away in critical but stable condition.

I hadn't met any of the boys, but I do know snippets of how the two from her class
were a part of my daughter's life.

They were smart boys.

They were good boys.

They were football players.

One in particular made Eldest smile every single day.

He told her she was so stylish, every time he saw her.

And then when that got old, he told her she already knew
what he was going to say, so he wouldn't say it,
but he knew, she knew, what he was thinking.

She will miss him.

My heart goes out to all of the families.

I wish I could ease their pain.

But all I can do is  hug my children a little tighter today.

What do I want to tell my daughter?

~Please always wear your seatbelt, the only boy to survive was wearing his.

~Please stay away from parties where there isn't any adult supervision.

~Please don't drink, instead learn to have fun sober.
Why? Studies have shown the same people
who swear they would never drink and drive,
will get behind the wheel after having several drinks; their judgement over the matter completely impaired...  (please do not assume the boys involved were drinking and driving, rather they were hit by someone who is under suspicion of doing so.)

~ Please find it in your heart to forgive.

~Please don't be on the road after midnight; nothing good ever happens after midnight.

~Please, if you feel uneasy about a situation always, always go with your gut and don't ever override it.

~Please don't be in a rush to grow up.

~And please always let me give you a hug and a kiss before you leave the house.

Love your,

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  1. I guess I needed a good cry before church. I love how you captured her here, lovely in spite of the sorrow. I knew none of these young men, but I do know that my children have been held even closer than usual over the past few days.

  2. This is an exquisite post, Dana. The unexpected loss of young life is always such a sad story to hear, but you have told it with sensitivity and caring. A mother's love is such a blessing, and your counsel is wise and compassionate.

    I will be praying for your daughter...and for the families of the boys.

  3. So sorry for your loss. Such a sad, sad story, but your advice is full of wisdom.

  4. Oh so sorry to hear about the great loss eldest is feeling and for the poor families that have to deal with their loss too......prayers for the families.

  5. I've tried to write this comment five times and I just can't find the right words. Just know that my heart goes out to your daughter, you, your family, the families of the boys, and everyone who has been touched by this tragedy.

  6. It such a tragedy to lose such young men. I can't begin to imagine the parents pain or your daughter's sorrow. I hope our children will try to stay safe.
    My love to you all

  7. Such a tragedy! I pray for our boys every time they leave the house as they are of "that" age!! We've experienced this kind of loss, not in our own family but as part of a tiny community where a young didn't look both ways. Just know that I am praying for your daughter, their schoolmates, the families of these boys, and the community at large. So very, very sorry!

  8. So terribly sad & tragic. My prayers are with the families and friends of the boys as well as your daughter.
    Will hug my little one tighter today as well.
    Such a well written post.
    I want to tell my daughter all these words later on.

  9. Why does it seem that every Fall brings a tragic loss of teenage life? We just had a similar situation here, as we do every year, it seems. How will I ever let my boys out of my sight when they are teens?
    So sorry to sweet Eldest, on the loss of her friends.

  10. I am so sad to hear this. Sorry doesn't even suffice, but I'm sorry for the loss for your daughter, for your community. Your post brought tears to my eyes. Praying for all!

  11. Oh, my gosh, Dana.

    The heartache.

    The unnecessary heartache.

    Conversations important to have with our children.

    If they call me, I have promised, no questions ask, I will pick them up wherever they are, if they call me.


  12. What a horrible loss! Your reminders are so important. No one should have to lose someone this young.

  13. Oh, my goodness. This is so unbelievably sad. I have two teenage daughters, and can't imagine what those poor families are feeling. I will include your daughter in my prayers. Hug her tight.

  14. How terrible! Sending hugs your family's way and to those whose hearts are breaking. How tragic. Your words ring so true and is a battle we fight ourselves, trying to encourage fun without drinking. What sad, sad, sad news.


  15. How terribly, terribly tragic. My heart goes out to those boys' families and your daughter. What a horrible thing to go through.

  16. Oh my heart. What a tragedy. :((((

  17. I cannot imagine the pain for your daughter, you, the families, the school, the community, every parent, every child affected.

    My heart goes out to you, truly. My arms and prayers embrace and uplift you.

    Like you, I always hug my loved ones every time they leave the house. Even when the teen scowls at me and snarls a goodbye. I don't care. I've been too close to losing him, when a car slammed against his 12-year-old body and tossed him across the pavement.

    Each and every day with our loved ones is a gift. A gift.

  18. Life is so hard. I am so sorry for her friends and their families. When these tragedies happen, we can only hope that others will learn to slow down..and to realize that things like that really do happen.

  19. I'm so sorry for your community's loss of four young men. It was hard to watch the news about it especially as it follows the loss of 4 young teen lives to a car accident in a town close to us just the week before this! Praying for all the families and students as they face the coming weeks.

  20. So sorry to hear. We have heard this our whole lives: "Nothing good ever happens after midnight. The only people out are cops & drunks." And a few good kids who happen to get caught in the middle....


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